Bioshock Infinite’s release is just around the corner, here are the Steam pre-order details:
Blind Justice: Want to command respect from people standing at an indeterminate distance from your immediate right? Bolt on a platinum Pinkerton badge and experience the thrill for yourself!
- The Doe-Boy: Protect the important thoughts in your head — ones like “liberty” and “freedom” and “democracy” — with good, honest, hat-shaped American steel. This helmet won’t run (until heated to 2500°F)!
- The Person in the Iron Mask: Turkey? Chicken? Game hens? Your head? This cast iron poultry furnace will smoke anything placed inside it.
- The Pounding Father: Heavy cannot tell lie. Heavy is first President of United States. Of crushing little baby men.
- The Steel Songbird: It gets pretty quiet in that sniper’s nest. Why not treat yourself to the haunting rhythmic symphony of bolts being constantly pooped by this mute, easily terrified incontinent bird?
- The Sydney Straw Boat: Throw this hat on the ground to express rage, or in the air to express joy! Take a hat-based trip through time to learn how your great grandparents displayed emotions in the days before emoticons!
- Vox Diabolus: With this Vox Populi anarchist mask, you can terrify your enemies into thinking you’re the Devil Himself, or worse, a protestor. Either way, they’re probably going to avoid you at the entrance to the supermarket when you try to get them to sign something.
